


Better Off

by orphan_account



Category: JackSepticEye (YouTube RPF), Markiplier (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, I stated this as vent writing a few weeks ago and just finished it now, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:12:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4913674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd be better off without me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Off

            Moonlight falls in cold lines across the bed sheets and limbs. His hand is on my chest, but we are not close. The night is too hot for that. I am unaccustomed to the intensity of the Californian summer heat, the constant and unchanging weather. But, I’d deal with anything, _everything_ ,to be with him.

            I think.

            He’d be better without me.

            It’s nearly two a.m. and I’m barely tired. I glance over at him, his pink hair falling messily over his forehead. He looks so peaceful and content. I hope that he is having a good dream; I can do no more than hope. I don’t give him any more joy in life, so at least he can have it in his dreams.

            A car parks beneath the window, and its headlights briefly illuminate the room in red. I inch out from beneath his hand and leave the bed. The floor is pleasantly cool on my bare feet, and I leave the small bedroom and enter the kitchen. I stand at the window overlooking my neighbors yard and breath for several minutes.

            I still do not want to sleep.

            I take a glass from the cupboard and a pitcher of water from the fridge. I raise it to my lips and down the cold liquid in one gulp.

            “Jack?”

            I joke on the water and turn around. “Mark, I thought you were asleep.”

            “I woke up.” Mark’s hair is still messy and he is, as always, beautiful.

            Oh god, I don’t deserve him.

            “Go back to bed.”

            “Come with me.”

            He reaches out and takes my hand, pulling me back into the bedroom. He pushes me onto the bed and straddles me, leaning down to kiss me. I kiss back, briefly, before pulling away.

            “Are you sure you love me?” I ask. I can’t make eye contact with him.

            Mark sits up. “What?” I can’t decipher his tone. He’s probably angry, or surprised. I can’t tell; another reason I shouldn’t be with him. He falls silent for a moment. I’m scared for him to continue.

            “Why wouldn’t I love you, Jack?”

            I hesitate to meet his gaze. “What are you doing with someone like me? I’m not good enough for you.”

            “Jack…”

            “You’re amazing, I mean it,” I say. “But I’m scared I don’t love you enough.”

            He gets off me, and sits next to me. “You don’t love me?”

            “I…” I just want him to be happy, and he can’t be happy with me. “I don’t.”

            I do. I love him so much it _hurts_ , I love him so much I can’t _breathe._ But he can’t love me, of course he can’t. He couldn’t love someone who doesn’t make him happy.

            He’s silent. I’m not sure what that means and I don’t dare look at him. If I do, I fear he might be crying.

            “You… don’t love me.”

            I can’t respond. Rising from the bed, I walk over to the closet and pull out a suitcase.

            “What are you doing?”

            I stuff my clothes into it, cramming as much as I can in as possible. Out of the drawers I also pull out a shirt and jeans that I slip on over my boxers. I zip the suitcase closed and walk out of the bedroom.

            “Jack, Jack, don’t do this.” I’m sure he’s crying now, his warm voice cracking. I still can’t look at him. “Jack!” He yells as I pull my shoes on.

            Mark follows me out of the room and grabs my hand. “I love you,” he whispers.

            I turn to look at him, tears on his cheeks, and my insides collapse. I’ve made him sad… but don’t I always?

            “You don’t.”

            “I do! I always have! I always will!” Mark pulls my hand, leading me back to the bedroom. I protest, yanking my hand away. He dashes in and I walk to the front door, grabbing my wallet and phone. He returns with a pair of his jeans and grabs me again. He turns the pockets inside out until he gets the right one and pulls out a small box. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much.”

            “M-Mark, I’m not gonna force you to live out your days with someone who doesn’t make you happy.”

            “Then don’t leave!” He shouts. For a moment I stare at him in silence. “Don’t leave and I won’t have to.”

            I shake my head as he opens the box. Inside is a simple silver band, and it glints in the moonlight.

            “You don’t have to if you really don’t love me,” he can barely speak through the tears and suddenly I’m crying too. “Please tell me you love me.”

            I pull him into an embrace. “I do I do I _do._ ” We sink to the ground together and I bury my face in his shoulder. “I just don’t want to be with you if I don’t make you happy.”

            “ _You_ are the light of my life. Nothing makes me happier than you,” Mark whispers in my ear. “What could ever make you think otherwise?”

            I don’t—I _can’t_ answer. We sit there, together, until our tears subside and out heartbeats and breaths are together. He takes my hands and brings me back to bed and we lie together in spite of the heat and I finally fall asleep.

 

            In the morning, I kiss him when he wakes and let him slid the band onto my finger.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic posted here. I will probably post more here than on my tumblr... Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated.


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